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Royal Vegas Casino Review

When a casino operator decides to launch multiple brands, it is unusual for them to launch them all at once; they are typically staggered over a series of years, and sometimes the original site can get a bit stale as the focus shifts to new brands.
The subject of this review, Royal Vegas Casino, is one of the old guards of online casinos. Since its launch, its parent company has gone on to manage 19 other brands; have they put this site out to pasture, or is it still worth your time and money? That is what I plan to find out with this honest, legit review of this casino.

About Royal Vegas Casino

Royal Vegas was one of the flagship sites of the Fortune Lounge Group when it was launched in 2000. It is now one of the 20 brands under the Digimedia Casino umbrella, alongside sister sites such as Casino Epoca, Spin Palace, and Platinum Play. In fact, while I was performing my initial stages of this review, I did notice a significant number of similarities between this casino and Platinum Play. As a result, much of this review may sound the same to many of you; I apologize, but I am going to look behind every corner to find all the differences between the two.
All of the Digimedia casinos have a license from the Malta Gaming Authority. This regulatory board keeps a watchful eye over all of its approved casinos, ensuring that player funds are safe and that the casino is completely above board when it comes to fairness and security.

Software Suppliers

Royal Vegas uses two software partners for the two sides of their online casino. The Live Dealer games are provided by industry-leader Evolution Gaming. We’ll talk more about these games further down this review; they are only available via the Instant Play format. For the remainder of the casino, Royal Vegas is powered by Microgaming, one of the industry’s longest-standing and top providers of games. In fact, Royal Vegas is one of Microgaming’s oldest clients, so this casino has seen all the improvements they have made over the years.
Microgaming’s casino is available in Instant Play format, but if you want all the games and the full casino experience, you are better served downloading the casino client to your desktop.
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The Good Stuff

Progressive Jackpots

When you hit the casino lobby, your eyes track immediately to the ticker which shows how much money is available in progressive jackpots on the site. The total is currently around 2.5 Million USD; almost half of that can be found in the Mega Moolah game. One spin of those reels could win you just over a million dollars! You should spend a couple minutes playing every time you log in; you never know which spin might be the one that changes your life!

A Clear Opt-Out Option

Wow. You don’t see this very often at a casino. Right there with an overview of the promotions and the rewards is a tab named Unsolicited Communications, where they outline how to opt-out of emails, and their policy to not just spam their players. Well done, Royal Vegas – this is most impressive.

The Bad Stuff

So Much Is the Same

One thing about operating many casinos is that sometimes it is easy to just copy and paste one site into another. From a games standpoint, that is exactly what has happened with Royal Vegas. If you are already a player with Platinum Play, you probably don’t need to play here; the casino lobby is exactly the same.

Quick Points Expiry

You will read a little later on how important a Comp Program is in my eyes; not only do I like to be able to redeem the points for cash, but I also like to try to move up VIP levels as quickly as possible. I noticed that the points at Royal Vegas have an expiry of 60 days; that is significantly faster than the industry standard of 90 days. This is a little disheartening considering you need to accumulate 5,000 to convert them. In my opinion, one of those rules needs to be adjusted.
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Royal Vegas Casino Game Selection

Slots

Even though you can see these games at many of the Digimedia Casinos, it is entirely possible that this is your first time seeing Microgaming in action. If so, you are in for a real treat. The slots catalog is bursting at the seams with titles for you to choose from; at last count, there were well over 300 slot machines in the casino lobby.
What I particularly enjoy are all the games that feature brands I know from other walks of life; you will see many of those along with other in-house content that I have enjoyed playing from the list below:

Around The World
Avalon
Battlestar Galactica
BrideZilla
Bubble Bonanza
Cashanova
CashOccino
Cash Splash – 3 Reel
Cash Splash – 5 Reel
Classic 243
Cool Buck 5 reel
Cool Wolf
Cosmic Cat
Dance of the Masai
Doctor Love 20-Line
Dogfather
Double Magic MegaSpin
Double O Cash
Double Wammy
Watts Up
Eagle’s Wings
Electric Diva
Elementals
Fantastic 7’s
Fantastic 7’s MegaSpin
Fruit Fiesta – 5 Reel
Fruit Salad
Fruit Slots
Fruit Candy
Game of Thrones
Game of Thrones 15-Line
Girls With Guns – Frozen Dawn
Girls With Guns – Jungle Heat
Gladiator 50-line
Golden Goose Winning Wizards
Jurassic Jackpot Big Reel
Jurassic Park
Lion’s Pride
Lions Share
Liquid Gold
Little Chief Big Cash
Living in Luxury
Loaded
Loose Cannon
Lost Vegas
Lotsaloot – 3 Reel
Lotsaloot – 5 Reel
Lucky Leprechaun
Lucky Leprechaun’s Loot
Lucky News Network
Major Millions
Major Millions 3 Reel
Major Millions MegaSpin
Mardi Gras
Mardi Gras Fever
Mark of Medusa
Max Damage
Max Damage and the Alien Attack
Mayan Princess
Mega Money Multiplier
Mega Moolah
Mega Moolah 5 Reel Drive
Mega Moolah Isis
Mega Moolah Summertime
Mermaids Millions
Mermaids Millions Multi-Player
Mocha Orange
Rhyming Reels – Georgie Porgie
Rhyming Reels – Hearts & Tarts
Rhyming Reels – Jack & Jill
Sahara’s Secret
Samurai 7’s
Sonic Boom
Sugar Mama
Sugar Parade
Sultans Sevens
Summer Holiday
Summertime
SunQuest
Tarzan
Terminator 2
The Adventures of Galactic Gopher
The Argyle Open
The Dark Knight
The Dark Knight Rises
The Finer Reels of Life
Tomb Raider
Tomb Raider – Secret of the Sword
Totem Treasure
Treasure Nile
Treasure Palace
Triangulation
Tribal Treasure
Wheel of Wealth Special Edition
Wheel of Wealth Special Edition Multiplayer
White Buffalo

Live Dealer Games

I mentioned earlier how much I love the Live Dealer games from Evolution. Truth be told, I enjoy live casino games form virtually any supplier. The pace of these games is much different than the traditional online casino; I also love watching the dealers on the live stream having to deal those oversized cards!
At Royal Vegas, you can find the Live Casino games in the “Tables” tab of the lobby, and from there you can choose from the following games:

Caribbean Stud Poker
Dream Catcher
Blackjack
Roulette
Casino Hold’em

Video Poker

I am sure I am one of the craziest video poker nuts I know. Sometimes, I will find myself at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas, playing at one of the machines at the bar while also playing a game on my phone at one of the online casinos I have reviewed. Yes, that may be considered extreme behavior, but I can’t help it – I love these games!
When it comes to the selection at Royal Vegas, you will find a significant number of machines and pay tables. It is important to look at the pay tables before playing a game; you want to make sure the variant you are playing gives you the best return for your betting style. Also, you may find the multi-hand versions of the games exciting; there is nothing better than a Royal Flush except maybe 4 of them on the same hand!
Check out the types of video poker games you can play at this casino:

All Aces
Jacks or Better
All American
Aces & Faces
Double Bonus
Bonus Deuces Wild
Tens or Better
Aces & Eights
Deuces & Joker
Double Double Bonus
Joker Poker (kings or better)
Bonus Poker Deluxe
Double Joker
Deuces Wild
Louisiana Double

Table Games

For this casino review, I decided to do something different when testing the Table Games. I chose to play a game I don’t play very often and give it a full 45 minutes session. This time I decided on 3 Card Poker; this is a game I tend to play only with my friends after way too many drinks in Vegas, so I thought I would try it in the comfort of my own home. The end result? Well, I am still not sure if I like the game as much as I do other Table Games; thankfully there is a full complement of those at Royal Vegas:

3 Card Poker
Atlantic City Blackjack
Atlantic City Gold Blackjack
Bonus Blackjack
Classic Blackjack
Craps
Crown and Anchor
Cyberstud Poker
Double Exposure
European Blackjack Redeal
European Gold Blackjack
Hi-Lo 13 European Blackjack
Keno
Pai Gow Poker
Premier High Streak Blackjack
Poker Pursuit
Red Dog
Roulette
Sic Bo
Spanish Blackjack
Vegas Downtown Blackjack
Vegas single deck Blackjack
Vegas Strip Blackjack

Specialty Games

Now, the honest truth here: I did not test any of these “Casual Games” in reviewing Royal Vegas. While many of you may love to play these games, I consider them nothing more than a time-filler, and a costly one at that. However, should you get the itch to try one of them out, here are all the options you have to choose from:

Monkey Keno
Six Shooter Looter Gold
Pharaoh’s Gems
Spingo
Keno
Hexaline
Four By Four
Triangulation
Germinator
Max Damage and the Alien Attack
Whack a Jackpot
Super Bonus Bingo
Pharaoh Bingo
Three Wheeler
Electro Bingo
Samba Bingo
Mayan Bingo
Bubble Bonanza
Pick ‘n Switch
Beer Fest
Crown and Anchor
Ballistic Bingo
Bunny Boiler Gold
Premier Trotting
Kashatoa
Bunny Boiler
Space Evader Gold
Premier Racing
Crypt Crusade Gold
Space Evader
Hand to Hand Combat
Crypt Crusade
Six Shooter Looter

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Royal Vegas Casino Promotions

While the casino lobby can look the same, where I am hoping to find some differences between this casino and its sister properties is in the promotional area. I am going to have a look at two promotions in detail here in this review:

Welcome Bonus

This offer for first-time depositing players is eerily similar to the one being offered by Platinum Play, but this one is just a little bit sweeter. They are offering you up to $1,200 in bonuses and 120 Free Spins in their Welcome Bonus, along the following lines:

On your first deposit: a 100% deposit match up to $/€250 plus unlock 30 Free Spins on Dragon Dance-a minimum deposit of $/€10 is required to receive your Spins
On your second deposit: a 25% deposit match up to $/€200 plus unlock 40 Free Spins on Wild Orient
On your third deposit: 50% deposit match up to $/€750 plus unlock 50 Free Spins on the SunTide

So, this is definitely different than the other casino; first off, it is more money. Also, it is only spread over three deposits (all of which must be made within 7 days).
I was able to access the Terms and Conditions page and found there that the wagering requirement for this bonus (and all other bonuses) is 40x the bonus amount; that is a competitive rate, so it’s definitely worth giving this bonus a shot.

Wild Wins Wheel

This is a great ongoing promotion that by the sounds of things has been run before at this casino. It is a time-sensitive offer (this one looks to be about three weeks long), and has straightforward rules:

Play your favorite games to earn Rewards points
Your Rewards points will fill up the progress bar
Each time you reach 100%, you’ll get a spin on the jungle wheel
Prizes on the wheel include Free Spins, Rewards points and a Bonus Round for even bigger prizes!
You can try and spin the jungle wheel as many times as possible to win your share of €300,000 in instant prizes

I like that the casino has offers like this available for players; the sense of urgency to play games before the promo ends provides motivation to play more often, which is obviously good for the casino.
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Banking

Getting your money to this site is not going to be a problem. As you will see below, the number of payment methods offered is staggering. Also, if you have a problem with the first method you choose, as I did, the casino works fast to ensure you are still on the hook. I received a Live Chat message as soon as my deposit was rejected, followed by being walked through another method which ended up being successful. That is an excellent way to keep players interested.

Deposit Methods

Abaqoos
Bank Wire
Boleto
CartaSi
ClickandBuy
Delta
Diners Club International
eChecks
EcoPayz
eKonto
Entropay
EPS
Euteller
ewire
EZIPay
GiroPay
iDEAL
instaDebit
JCB
Lobanet
Maestro
MasterCard
Moneta
Multibanco
Neosurf
Neteller
Nordea
Paysafecard
POLi
Postepay
Przelewy24
Skrill
Sofortuberwaisung
Solo
Switch
Teleingreso
Ticket Premium
Trustly
Ukash
UseMyFunds
Visa
Visa Electron

Withdrawal Methods

CartaSi
Check
ClickandBuy
Diners Club International
ECO Card
Entropay
EPS
EZIPay
instaDebit
Maestro
Neteller
Nordea
Postepay
Skrill

Royal Vegas Casino VIP Program

Along with the Comp Program, all real money players are entered into Royal Vegas’s VIP Program. This program has two parts to it; an in-house tiered program that rewards players from the second they make a deposit, and access for higher-level players to the Fortune Lounge VIP program, where you can find yourself being invited to some of the most exclusive parties and events in the online casino world.

Would I Play at Royal Vegas Casino?

Well, here’s the thing: I have a real money account at Platinum Play and have used the Welcome Bonus, so I am not even sure I will be able to take advantage of the superior offer from Royal Vegas. If you haven’t opened an account at either, I would suggest you do so at Royal Vegas first, then see what happens after you clear the bonus.
The site itself is great: an excellent selection of games, a great comp and VIP program, and a whole host of ways to contact the casino in real-time if you have any issues. I have no problem recommending this casino to anyone- time has not passed Royal Vegas by, and they remain one of the flagship brands of the Digimedia Casino group!
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Hey all, 30,000 words later, I've finished the rough draft of my thesis, so I get to reward myself with this!
It is an attempt to catch all the literary references in Destiny's flavor texts–I did armor last week, you can find that post here!
Obviously, since I'm not a writer in Destiny, nor do I know any of the writers, this will not 100% complete–but I read a lot, so maybe it'll be close!
Without more ado about nothing, here's the primary weapons! They're organized by class, and then roughly in descending order of rarity.

Auto Rifles

Fabian Strategy: Wait for enemy to make a mistake. Die. Stand by for Ghost Resurrection. Repeat as necessary.
Interestingly, despite its name being the an actual military strategy, the use of Fabian Strategy really doesn't seem in line with that strategy. The actual strategy is one of attrition, guerrilla warfare, and light skirmishes, as opposed to the frontline fighting the gun espouses. The strategy itself was named after Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus Cunctator (can't make this stuff up), a Roman dictator who pioneered it against Hannibal, a legendary Carthaginian commander. Fun fact, his cognomen–or honorary last name–Verrucosus, means 'warty', a reference to a wart on his upper lip.
((GENESIS CHAIN~)): ~if(input(SIVA)) // echo Shirazi // output(death) // ask(not in vain)~
I think this is a reference to James 4:3:

³You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, in order to spend what you get on your pleasures.

New Revised Standard Version. 'Ask not in vain', as it were. I'm not 100% about this one simply because it's not a great fit, but 'ask not in vain' is a pretty iconic phrase.
Monte Carlo: There will always be paths to tread and methods to try. Roll with it.
Uhh, so this is a reference to the Monte Carlo method, which, according to Wikipedia, is, "a broad class of computational algorithms that rely on repeated random sampling to obtain numerical results." If someone with relevant expertise could explain this better, I'll edit it in, but for now, I'll take a whack at it: as a part of risk analysis, Monte Carlo methods allow you to simulate a large number of possible outcomes, so you can better make decisions under uncertainty. Of course, it is also a reference to the Monte Carlo principality in Monaco, particularly its opera-house-cum-casino, from which the RNG of the Monte Carlo method takes its name.
Abyss Defiant: We will not go quietly.
A reference to Welsh poet Dylan Thomas' "Do not go gentle into that good night", all of which is fabulous, but I will quote just a short stanza here:

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

As Guardians, we're pretty conditioned against the 'dying of the light', so this one definitely feels like a good fit.
Arminius-D: Unleash a torrent on your enemies with the Häkke Arminius-D.
The name is of Arminus (german, Hermann), a legendary German commander who lived in both the BCE and CE, and gave the Romans their greatest defeat at the Battle of Teutonberg, in 9CE. Arguably one of the most important battles in history, it likely stopped Roman advancement past the Rhine permanently–which is likely the "torrent" referenced in the flavor text.
Zarinaea-D: You provide the will, and the Häkke Zarinaea-D provides the way.
A Sacae woman, who also fought in battles. Wife of the Parthian (ayyyyy, see pulse rifles, below) King Marmares. Her story is related in Ctesias' history of the Persian empire, Persica.
Paleocontact JPK-43: An auto rifle, modified by Dead Orbit's superb technicians and specialists.
Paleocontact is the idea that aliens rendezvoused with early humans and influenced civilization. It is generally considered a pseudo-historic theory at best, and falls under "Ancient astronauts". No idea about the "JPK-43" part, unfortunately.
Questing Beast: You'll never catch it. But that's not the point.
A reference to Arthurian legend, the Questing Beast is a vicious monster, and a, "... subject of quests undertaken by famous knights such as King Pellinore, Sir Palamedes, and Sir Percival". Its description was quite ferocious:

The strange creature has the head and neck of a snake, the body of a leopard, the haunches of a lion, and the feet of a hart.^[1] Its name comes from the great noise that it emits from its belly, a barking like "thirty couple hounds questing". 'Glatisant' is related to the French word glapissant, 'yelping' or 'barking', especially of small dogs or foxes.

More contemporary incarnations can be found in The Magicians series by Lev Grossman, and possibly South Park? Unsurprisingly, it also makes an appearance in the Merlin TV series. Thanks to Phoenity1 for pointing that one out!
Zero-Day Dilemma: There's no defense against it.
A reference to zero-day vulnerabilities, which are computer vulnerabilities found and exploited before the developers can come up with a solution or workaround–thus the 'zero-day' moniker.
For The People: I stand against the state of nature.
A reference to Thomas Hobbes' "natural condition of mankind", from Leviathan. A 'state of nature' was the theoretical idea of man's existence before society. A really interesting exploration of that idea is Ḥayy ibn Yaqẓān, a philosophical work by Ibn Tufail–Arabic, أبو بكر محمد بن عبد الملك بن محمد بن طفيل القيسي الأندلسي– which tells the story of a young man raised entirely in nature by animals, who only comes into contact with society later on in his life.
Izudabar-D: Millenia will pass, and still your name will ring out.
"Izdubar" was the initial translation of the name Gilgamesh, who of course is the protagonist of the Epic of Gilgamesh a fabulous (and surprisingly short!) ancient Mesopotamian epic poem, which is considered the first example of the genre.
Bronzed Miyamoto-D: An aggressive Häkke auto rifle, earned through glory in the Crucible.
A reference to the later-era (1600s) Japanese swordsman and strategist, Miyamoto Musashi–Japanese, 宮本武蔵–and likely not the co-founder of Nintendo! In his later years, he wrote The Book of Five Rings, a treatise on strategy, tactics and philosophy.
Galahad-E: This extraordinary multirole rifle boasts a smartmatter frame, the key to remarkable capabilities.
More Arthurian legend! Sir Galahad is the illegitimate son of Lancelot and Elaine of Corbenic, ironically renowned for his purity and gallantry. He appeared quite late in the Medieval Arthurian legends, but became much more common in the later narratives, like Le Morte d'Arthur. Ultimately, he is considered to be the only night of Arthur's table worthy to see the Holy Grail and ascend to Heaven.
Shingen-E: The exemplary Shingen-E is built to pop skulls.
One of my old favorites (still sad I sharded it, though :( alas for small vaults), it likely references another 16^th century feudal Japanese lord, Takeda Shingen–Japanese, 武田信玄. A commander of "exceptional military prestige" during the Sengoku period, his alleged death by sniper was depicted by Kurosawa in the movie Kagemusha. It will be the 444th anniversary of his death on May 13th!
Longespée-A: When all around you is chaos, the dependable Longespée-A won't fail you.
A reference to William Longespée (literally, 'long sword' ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)), 3^rd Earl of Salisbury. Renowned for being friggin' huge and having a friggin' huge sword. Go figure. He died in 1226, and was buried in Salisbury Cathedral. Five hundred and fifty years later, his tomb was opened, and a well-preserved rat was found inside his skull. I guess you could say it was skulking around? He got ratted out, though!
SUROS TYR-14: Stable. Dependable. Rapid-fire. SUROS.
Reminding me of how much I hate Suros' flavor text style, I'm not 100% sure about this one, because most of the 'cheap' Suros weapons have three-letter acronyms at the end of their name, so this might be coincidence. But, Týr is an ancient Germanic/Norse god, either the son of Odin, by the Prose Edda, or Hymar, by the Poetic Edda. Associated with war and might. Had his hand bit off by Fenrir, and is therefore known also known as 'The Leavings of the Wolf' which is an honorific, rather than a dig at him. His name is also where we get 'Tuesday' (Týr's-day)!
Cydonia-AR3: The City can't rely on a steady supply of programmable matter, so the multirole AR3 uses it only sparingly.
A region of Mars, but also a surname of Athena. That region of Mars was also where we found 'the Face of Mars', a rock formation whose shadows made it look like a face. Pretty neat.

Pulse Rifles

Herja-D: Devastate your foes with the deadly precision of the Häkke Herja-D.
More from the Prose Edda! This is a Valkyrie (demigoddesses of war, they would ride into battles and pick the worthy dead to come with them to Valhalla) specifically named in one of the two Nafnaþulur lists. Etymologically, it is also related to the Old Norse herja and Old High German herjón, both of which mean 'destruction' or 'devastation'.
Apple of Discord: "For the Fairest."
Huge shout-out to G3vanB, I'll put their analysis here:

Eris, godess of strife, supposedly throws one:
An apple of discord is a reference to the Golden Apple of Discord (Greek: μῆλον τῆς Ἔριδος) which, according to Greek mythology, the goddess Eris (Gr. Ἔρις, "Strife") tossed in the midst of the feast of the gods at the wedding of Peleus and Thetis as a prize of beauty, thus sparking a vanity-fueled dispute among Hera, Athena, and Aphrodite that eventually led to the Trojan War.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_of_Discord
The Apple was inscribed with ΤΗΙ ΚΑΛΛΙΣΤΗΙ The translation is the Gun's flavour text.

Interesting to note the Goddess of Strife's name ...
Hawksaw: A northwesterly wind is blowing.
Perhaps one of the more well-known references to our dear Bard, this is from Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2, Line 351:

HAMLET I am but mad north-north-west. When the wind is southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.

We're all mad, mad I tell you! Thanks to pocsaclypse for pointing that one out!
Parthian Shot: Who's got the last laugh now?
A military tactic turned literary term, a Parthian shot is an insult or retort delivered as the speaker was leaving. It eventually evolved into the much more well-known 'parting shot' in a delightful little bit of linguistic movement. It comes from a strategy developed by the Parthians, ancient Iranian peoples, where they would ride their horses away from the enemy while firing their bows at said enemy. Of course, it was also before the development of stirrups, so this was a technique that required a truly sublime mastery of equestrian skill. Imagine shooting a bow, while riding a horse, that you're only controlling with the muscles in your legs. Insane.
Smite of Merain (Adept): Barrel etching: "He parted them like a sea, which closed upon him again."
It's not exact, but any references to any parting of any seas are of course biblical in nature–Exodus, 14:21-15:19. Just taking the most similar quote I can find:

26 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Stretch out your hand over the sea, so that the water may come back upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots and chari- ot drivers."

14:26, NRSV. As usual, that particular act of God is followed with a great deal of praise.
The Messenger: From deep within the shadows it came—a messenger borne on black wings.
The personification of death often includes a pair of black wings. Crows and Ravens (and many other members of the Corvus family), often thought of as battlefield scavengers, are black. This feels like it should be a specific reference, but honestly it's more a trope than anything.
Hopscotch Pilgrim: It's a long road. Enjoy it.
In a seriously impressive bit of detective work, JohnnyFlack found that this is actually referencing:

Oh oh i found this while reading about the origins of hopscotch...
"In Cuba and in Puerto Rico it is called "La Peregrina" (meaning "Pilgrim Girl") and the squares represent the 9 rings the pilgrim traveler has to pass in order to reach Heaven from Purgatory according to Dante's Inferno."

Here's the Wikipedia article!
Moriaen-D: You are a child of many peoples, a protector of all cultures.
More Arthurian literature. This is a 13^th century romance, called Moriaen, whose story of the titular hero follows him as he first attempts to find his father, and meets with famous knights of the round table, like Lancelot and Gawain. Once his father Aglovale is found, they return to his mother and take back her rightful lands. He is Moorish after his mother, but obviously is also a part of the Arthurian tradition. Thus the 'child of many cultures'.
Lump Distribution: This nimble rifle's on-board tactical systems keep a scrupulous tally of combat stats.
Besides looking totally neat, the gun refers to a Lump-Sum Distribution, which is, "... the distribution or payment within a single tax year of a plan participant's entire balance from all of the employer's qualified plans of one kind (for example, pension, profit-sharing, or stock bonus plans)." Thanks for that, IRS.
Painted Apollo MSc: A highly accurate Nadir firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
Our first Nadir gun! Apollo is the Greek god of, among other things, music, poetry, art, oracles, archery, plague, medicine, sun, light and knowledge. Wicked important, very well known. Has a sister, Artemis.
Painted Neptune MSc: A high velocity Nadir firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
I'm sensing a naming trend, though perhaps not a consistent! Neptune is the Roman god of the sea and freshwater, and is the counterpart to the Greek Poseidon.
Hotspur-A: Piezopolymer paneling makes the Häkke Hotspur-A a balanced war machine.
Hey! This is interesting. The green Häkke weapons are named after English noblemen! This one is after Henry 'Hotspur' Percy. Led a bunch of rebellions against Henry IV and was eventually killed at the Battle of Shrewsbury by an arrow to the face. Get rekt kiddo. He also featured as a character in Shakespeare's Henry IV, part I.

Scout Rifles

Fate of All Fools: *"The wise man knows his fate. The fool merely finds it."
I orignally thought this was a reference to Matthew, but turns out it's not–check out the story below!
A really excellent explanation of this from Voroxpete, which makes much more sense:

The Fate of All Fools - This one is actually a reference to a videogame... Specifically, Marathon, the series that Bungie created back in 1994, and from which many, many elements of both Halo and Destiny are derived. Rather apropo, given that the weapon was originally gifted to a long time fan who was recovering from brain cancer.
The specific reference is to this scene from Marathon 2:

Tycho's ship has been destroyed. The crater where it annihilated itself on Lh'owon's inner moon is still glowing. There were no survivors. With a focused message laser I burned his epitaph into the surface near the crash site, in letters three hundred meters high: "Fatum Iustum Stultorum."

The speaker in that scene is Durandal, an incredibly powerful rampant AI (wow, gee, its almost like Bungie have some kind of fixation on powerful rogue AIs or something). Tycho is another very powerful AI, acting under the control of an alien empire and sent to destroy or capture Durandal.
The phrase in latin at the end is a little bit wonky (hiring experts to get your dead languages right wasn't exactly a thing in nineties video game design), but it's more or less agreed that the intended translation is something like "The just fate of the foolish"...
Or "The fate of all fools."

Cocytus SR4: The Omolon Cocytus SR4 will drown your enemy in a river of pain.
Thanks to scapulargolem for this:

The 'Cocytus' is referencing the black river surrounding Dis/Hades (The underworld) in Classical mythology. It's mentioned many times in Virgil's Aeneid book 6. It's flavour text reflects this.

Incidentally, in some versions of the tale, the ~~Cocytus~~ Styx was supposedly the river Achilles was submerged in to make him invulnerable. He was held by his ankle, thus making his ankle his only weak spot–his Achilles heel (thanks to thyrandomninja for that clarification!).
And some additional context from Owasippe_Ninja! Thanks!

Awesome. Also, in Dante's Inferno, Cocytus is the frozen lake of the Ninth circle of hell, encasing not only Lucifer himself, but those who betray a bond of trust with others like benefactors, countrymen, and family. The ice is formed by the tears of the Old Man of Crete, which are described as being frozen sorrow and pain, and the frozen winds blown up by the wings of Lucifer. The worst betrayers (who aren't being devoured in the three heads of Lucifer) are fully encased in the ice in a the region called Judecca, named supposedly for Judas Iscariot (although there's more to Judecca than just Judas, check out its use in medieval city planning and general attitudes of Italian Christians of the time to Jews). So seems to fit the flavor text of "drowning enemies in a river of pain."

Additional small bit from another stealthy person, thyrandomninja:

is not just a reference to a literal river, but the Cocytus is also the river of lamentation, or mournful woe. It not only drowns the enemy in front of you by shooting them, but their friends and family are drowned in mourning as well.

Tuonela SR4: Hell will freeze over before the Omolon Tuonela SR4 will fail you.
Ahahah funny joke, Bungo. In Finnish mythology, Tuonela is the equivalent of Hades. In Finnish Christianity, it is the word used for 'Hell' in translations of the Bible. In terms of a literary reference, though, Tuonela is featured in the Kalevela, a Finnish national epic. The protagonist (roughly speaking), Väinämöinen, travels there to seek the knowledge of the dead. It, uhh, went okay.
The Hero Formula: It's just so satisfying!
Okay, this is referencing one of two things: either Heron's formula, alternately spelled Hero's formula; or the Hero's journey, which, frankly, makes slightly more sense? The first is a mathematical formula that gives the area of a triangle by requiring no arbitrary choice of side as base or vertex as origin, where A=√(s-(s-a)(s-b)(s-c)). It's satisfying, I guess? Math isn't really my thing. The second refers to the 'monomyth' or the "common template of a broad category of tales that involve a hero who goes on an adventure, and in a decisive crisis wins a victory, and then comes home changed or transformed". The idea was originally put forward by ~~Jason~~ Joseph Campbell in his 1949 book on the subject, The Hero With a Thousand Faces.
Lethe Noblesse: Do not forget. Never forgive.
Many thanks to Johnny_Dirtbird for this one:

Good job. One other that I had in mind is the Queen's scout rifle, Lethe Noblesse. The flavor text is "Do not forget. Never forgive." From dictionary.com - Lethe is "a river in Hades whose water caused forgetfulness of the past in those who drank of it." Noblesse is a French word that means nobility. I know it from the phrase 'Noblesse Oblige' - nobility obligates. Putting the words together, my guess would be something like 'forgetfulness of nobility.'

High Road Soldier: The survival of civilization depends on our willingness to choose conscience over expedience.
Per S0rrowS0ng and JohnnyFlack, this is likely a reference to the common idiom (I mean, it bascially defines the concept in the flavor text) 'take the high road'. It could also be a winking reference to the chorus 'The Bonnie Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond':

O ye'll tak' the high road, and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scottland a'fore ye, But me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie, bonnie banks o' Loch Lomond.

Zero Point LOTP: This much fun should be outlawed.
thyrandomninja has a great and funny explanation:

I'll do what I can to explain. Every object has "energy levels", whether it be an electron, a molecule, a snooker ball, or a planet. The DIFFERENCE between these energy levels is imperceptible to us because we exist on the macroscopic scale (i.e. we're too big to see tiny differences), so to us it looks continuous. On the microscopic level (e.g. electrons, these energy levels are relatively larger, and much more noticeable, which is what ultimately leads to all the "weird shit" in quantum mechanics, that doesn't show up in real life scenarios). Energy states are usually categorised as n=1, n=2, etc, where n is the number of that energy level. (Electrons NATURALLY tend to operate in n=1 through ~20 [give or take whatever - CERN like to add a few thousand/million/whatever n's in their accelerators :P ] territory, whereas a person is always on n = several fucking million) Zero Point Energy is the energy of an object at n=1. There is no n=0 (for reasons i won't get into here), and therefore no such thing as "having no energy". There is always SOME amount of energy in any given object, and you cannot get rid of it (that "some amount" is negligible compared to things we see in our lives, but that's not the point).
Relating to Life Of The Party, this is probably saying there's no such thing as a dead party. There is always SOME fun to be had, no matter what - the very idea a "life of the party" person would embody.
Alternatively, it could be a jab at the "life of the party" philosophy, by saying that "yeah, there's some fun, but it's negligible, and i'm going to go home", meaning the description takes on a more sarcastic approach.

The Scholar: You can't pull an all-nighter when the sun never sets.
Not really 'literature', but too relevant not to include ;)
Also, per goldenboot76:

Everyone probably knows this already, but the other reasoning behind the Scholar scout rifle's flavour text is the fact that Mercury's orbital period and rotational period are one and the same. As such, half of Mercury is in eternal sunlight, and the other is in eternal darkness.
Hence, the "You can't pull an all-nighter when the sun never sets.".

Thanks for that!
Lampad SR4: Let your enemies know: death will be their only companion.
The Lampads, or Lampedes, were spirits of the underworld in greek mythology. They accompanied Hecate and generally went around doing spooky stuff.
Orphne SR4: If death is the Darkness's way, let our Light defy their desire.
Orphne was a specific nymph of the Greek underworld. Also an alternate translation of Caliga, the goddess of Darkness.
Painted Abbadon SR5: A single-fire Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
Sharing its name with the exotic machine gun, Abbadon is either a "place of destruction" or an Angel of Death. Either way, not pleasant.
Just a quick clarification from westen81, thanks!

Abbadon is most usually associated with the angel of destruction (not necessarily death)..

Painted Sorg SR5: A powerful Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
In a large number of Germanic and Germanic-derived languages, 'sorg' means 'sorrow' or 'grieving'.
Primed Díyú SR5: A long range Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
Following a clear pattern here, 'Diyu' is the Chinese conception of Hell.
Silvered Kín SR5: A highly accurate Omolon firearm, earned through glory in the Crucible.
A Turkic word, it means, simply, 'pain'.
Bronzed Yamaduta SR5: An accurized Omolon Scout Rifle, earned through glory in the Crucible.
The Yamatuda are messengers of Death in the Hindu tradition.
Thanatos SR5: Where Death follows, new life will grow. Where new life grows... Death will follow.
Thanatos is the Greek personification of Death. He is the twin brother of Hypnos, the God of Sleep. Referenced in the Illiad:

... then send Death to carry him away, and Sleep who is painless ...

The Iliad, 16.453-4. Richard Lattimore, translator.
Xibalba SR5: Tiled with picocircuitry, the Xibalba SR5 is fiendishly accurate and hungry to grow.
How many different conceptions of Hell can we find? This particular one refers to the Mayan realm of the dead. It shares its flavor text with the Acheron SR5. The Acheron is both a real river in Greece, but also another one of the five rivers of Hades. The Cocytus (discussed above) flows into it.
Naraka SR5: There will always be new hells to conquer.
hahah, no kidding about those 'new hells'. This specific hell is a particularly diverse amalgamate, finding its place in Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism, and Buddhism. Modified to 'Neraka' in Indonesian and Malaysian, it also describes the Islamic concept of hell. Moreover, it also describes the servants and spirits of Hell when modified to 'Narakas'.
Garmr SR1: Death is hungry.
Garmr is a dog (or wolf) of the Underworld in Norse mythology. He is, "the blood-stained guardian of Hel's gate".
Shinigami SR1: Death comes for the City's foes. Let's not keep it waiting.
Shinigami–Japanese, 死神–are spirits or gods of death. They invite humans to death, and rule over the underworld. Fans of the anime Death Note will also remember their appearance in that series.

Hand Cannons

The Last Word: "Yours. Not mine." —Renegade Hunter Shin Malphur to Dredgen Yor
Many thanks to andreisse for this one!

I know it's based on a gun, and a speech... I'll try and find it.
The Last Word is likely based on a real-life counterpart called Revolver No. 5. It was a weapon devised in 1928 by Elmer Keith, a "firearms enthusiast" from Idaho renowned for his six-shot expertise. He wrote about this weapon in 1929, in an article titled "The Last Word".
http://destinydb.com/item/3164616405/the-last-word

Here's a link to a .pdf of the article.
Gaheris-D: Balanced and dependable, the Häkke Gaheris-D is a true warrior's weapon.
More Arthurian legends! Gaheris was the nephew of Arthur, and a knight of the round table. He is described as "... valiant, agile, handsome, reticent in speech, prone to excess when angered, and possessing a right arm longer than the left".
Judith-D: Headshots are strongly encouraged with the Häkke Judith-D.
So, there are a lot of things this could be, but most likely it is referencing Judith of Bethulia, an Israelite who beheaded the Assyrian general Holofernes. Headshots strongly encouraged, indeed! Incidentally, that poem is found in the same manuscript as Beowulf–the Nowell Codex.
Kumakatok HC4: When the Omolon Kumakatok HC4 comes knocking, even the Darkness locks its doors.
The kumakatok are three Philippine spirits, who walk from door to door, knocking and bringing bad omens. One is supposed to resemble a young woman, the other two old men–however, they obscure their faces with hoods. Seriously creepy.
The Devil You Know: Let's make a deal ...
A reference to the phrase, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don't", this is the only weapon I know of that actually completes the phrase in game. The Devil You Don't was widely acknowledged to be simply a worse version of TDYK, not only being an impact class lower, but also with worse base range. That's commitment to the joke right there.
Uffern HC4: Omolon's Uffern HC4 sentences the City's enemies to burn.
In what should be a surprise to nobody at this point, Uffern is the Celtic version of Hell. Unfortunately I can't source it beyond a three-word mention in the Wikipedia article on Hell.
A very helpful clarification by Rapstah–much appreciated!

"Uffern" is literally Welsh for "hell". "U" is a near-close central unrounded vowel, or even a short "i" sound in southern Welsh. The sound "f" is represented as "ff" in Welsh, so if you represent it as "yfern" it's clear that it's derived from Latin "infernus".
I wouldn't say it's the Celtic version of Hell, it's literally just what you would call the christian concept of Hell in Welsh.

Byronic Hero: Brood, baby, brood.
A type of anti-hero created and embodied by Lord Byron. Byronic Heroes are: "a man proud, moody, cynical, with defiance on his brow, and misery in his heart, a scorner of his kind, implacable in revenge, yet capable of deep and strong affection". Think Hamlet, with a touch of Han Solo.
Also possibly another more modern reference, per getedm8–thanks!

This may be a stretch, but with the Byronic Hero's flavor text, it could be a reference to Saturday Night Fever. More specifically, the song "Disco Inferno" where the main chorus sings "Burn, baby burn!"

Vortimer-D: Where you come from is not important. It's for what you do that you will be remembered.
Vortimer, or Saint Vortimer, was another English legend. He can be found in Geoffry of Monmouth's Historia Regum Britainniae–my copy of which I've misplaced, apologies–where he is a described as a Britonic king with a strong distaste for Saxons. Worked out well, he died though.
Rience-D: You will not suffer these invader kings to live.
Hey, wait, are you telling me Häkke named another one of their guns after an English legend?! Yes, yes I am: Rience was an English/Irish/Scottish/British king named in Arthurian legend. He is variously described as the king of North Wales, Ireland, and 'many Isles'. He had the habit of edging his robe with the beards of Kings he had conquered–by the time Arthur came along, he had eleven. Arthur's, of course, was to be the twelfth invader king that he would crush. Didn't work out so well. Gosh, I really hope that's not a predictor.
LOCK_ARETE: Her excellence lies in swiftness.
A confusing one, because arete-Greek, ἀρετή–is literally 'excellence', especially in regards to efficacy, but also in terms of bravery. Arete is also the wife of Alcinous of Scheria, described thus in the Odyssey:

... Alkínoös married her and hold her dear. No lady in the world, no other mistress of a man's household, is honored as our mistress is, and loved, by her own children, by Alkínoös, and by the people. When she walks the town they murmur and gaze, as though she were a goddess. No grace or wisdom fails in her; indeed just men quarrels come to her for equity ...

The Odyssey, 7.70-8. Robert Fitzgerald, translator.
It wasn't originally my plan for these to go in descending order of references, but hey, that worked out nicely!
As I said in the beginning, I'm sure I've missed some, so don't hesitate to point them out.
Thanks so much for reading, Guardians, I really appreciate it!

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